once in elementary school i got a D on a test and i legitimately thought my parents were going to kill me so at recess we had a funeral and my friends picked me flowers and pieces of grass and let them blow away in the wind it was very dramatic i cried
i came into this world covered in someone else’s blood and screaming and lemme tell you i’m not afraid to leave it the same way
"Long Live the King"
IM IN CLASS AND CANT STOP LAUGHINH OMG IM DONE
my friend has black hair and the initials PM while her boyfriend has blonde hair and the initials AM and she told me that they joke that theyre ‘asdifferent as night and day’ and i fell on the floor that shit was so adorable
im going to make this gain notes and show it to my friend
Spock’s got moves; deal with it.
live long and get some
LIVE LONG AND GET SOME JFC
*complains about being tired* * doesn’t sleep until 3am*
#How did I miss this?
NO BUT SOME OF THEM EVEN HAVE RED HATS
I was sitting on sea ice when I heard a little peep over my shoulder.
"how will i explain gay couples to my children”
if you can explain to your children that an immortal man in a red suit who lives in the north pole travels around the entire world on one night every year on a sleigh carried by magical flying deer i think itll be easy enough to tell them two people are in love
"I’m afraid you have stage 9 animes."
"Doctor, what’s going to happen to me?"
*Doctor turns away from the patient and speaks in a grim tone.*
"Your desu has advanced too far, you have less than a week to live."
I KNOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE PRETTY AND COOL BUT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S FLYING UP AND THEN IT DECIDES IT GOING TOO FAR AND TRIES TO TURN AROUND AND IT KEEPS FLOATING AWAY AND ITS SAYING ‘SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT’
my life in one picture
there is no picture
i have no life
I sat here for 6 minutes waiting for the picture to load.
The entire education system summed up in a three panel comic strip.
The greatest comic ever written. no if’s and’s or but’s. Bill Waterson was a genius.
Of course it is.
ALL BITCHES THIS IS MY HOME TOWN TAKE A FUCKING SEAT WHILE I TELL YOU THIS STORY. GET A BOWL OF POPCORN BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS DOPE
IN THE 1940’S PORTLAND WAS PUTTING IN LAMPPOSTS AND FOR WHATEVER GOD DAMN REASON THIS ONE NEVER GOT FILLED.
IN 1946, DICK FAGAN, AN AMERICAN IRISHMAN WHO WROTE FOR THE OREGON JOURNAL, GOT BLOODY FUCKING BORED AT HIS JOB AND WOULD LOOK OUT HIS WINDOW ONTO THIS SAD EXCUSE FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION HOLE. ONE DAY HE SAID “FUCK THIS” AND PLANTED SOME FLOWERS.
HE WROTE ABOUT THIS NEW FUCKING PARK AND SPOKE ABOUT HOW LEPRECHAUNS LIVED THERE AND SHIT. MOTHERFUCKING LEPRECHAUNS IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWNTOWN, WHAT THE SHIT.
HOLD ONTO TO THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS BECAUSE THIS RIDE GETS EVEN BETTER. THIS PARK HOLDS A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR BEING THE SMALLEST PARK WITH WITH INFORMATION SAYING “It was designated as a city park on 17 March 1948 at the behest of the city journalist Dick Fagan (USA) for snail races and as a colony for leprechauns”. MOTHER. FUCKING. SNAIL RACES. BITCHES.
IT’S EVEN BEEN PIMPED OUT OVER THE YEARS
HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKS WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS HERE
WE CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.
THE BEST PART IS THAT IT EVEN HAD OCCUPY PORTLAND PROTESTERS
SO I HOPE YOU FUCKING LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY ABOUT TINY ASS PARKS.